Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about "character issues." Either that or just go ahead and determine the presidency with three-legged races and pie-eating contests. It would make better TV.
-P.J. O'Rourke
My favorite dessert to make is easily pie. I can and have made pies all day long and loved every exhausting minute. I love French silk pie and Lemon meringue, those two are my all time favorite. If I am going to eat two slices of pie on the same plate than it has to be French silk and Cherry. My French silk comes from my mom and it is about like eating the best chocolate butter you have ever had. I once dained to try a Lemon meringue pie from a store and was the saddest thing I ever did. That was the foulest stuff. I have sold my pies and will sell them again. If you ever need or want a pie by all means ask me for the recipe and if you are lucky enough to live near me I would be more than happy to make it for you. I would drop everything to make a pie or two.
When you die, if you get a choice between regular heaven and pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It may be a trick, but if it's not mmmmmmmmmmmm boy
-Jack Handy
Well the pie I will be writing about is not one that I have mentioned yet, but one that, I feel, should be masted by every wife who wishes to be seen as the quint essential 1950's house wife. I like to make this pie in pearls and heels (It just turns out better that way). If you haven't guessed yet it is the illusive perfect Apple Pie.
First the crust, this recipe I got from Miss Martha. Miss Martha Stewart that is. That women knows pie:
Promises and pie-crusts are made to be broken
-Jonathan Swift
1 1/4 cups flour
4 1/2 t. sugar
1/4 t. salt
1 stick cold butter
1 large egg yolk
2 T. ice water
Ok here is how I do this, I use a food processor but I will give you hints on how to do this with out one. Put all the dry ingredients into the food processor or a mixing bowl and pulse them to mix. Next I put the shredding attachment on my food processor and shred the butter into the flour. If you are doing this by hand just use a hand held cheese grader. Then I add the egg yolk (this makes the crust extra flaky, very important if you want the perfect crust). And finally I add the ice water. I use a liquid measuring cup and put in ice and water and put that in the freezer before I do anything else that way the water is super cold and I have worked up a sweat and will be ready to drink the remaining ice water. Lastly I pulse the mixture until it forms a ball. Turn it out onto a floured surface and kneed it a few time. It is very important not to over work the dough. Place the dough in a plastic bag and put it in the fridge until you are ready to roll it out. It will work up so much better if it has been chilled at least half an hour more is better.
Now the Apple part!
Why not upset the apple cart? If you don't the apples will rot anyway
-Frank A. Clark
6 cups thinly sliced and peeled apples
1 T. lemon juice (I often use more because it keeps the apples from browning and makes the apples nice and tart if you are using something other than a cooking apple)
3/4 cup sugar
2 monsterously heaping Tablespoons flour (depending on how much lemon juice you used.)
1/2 t. cinnamon (I use a little more)
1/8 t. nutmeg (I use a little more)
Now toss all these ingredients into a nice big bowl and mix them around until all the apples are coated nicely. There should be a little (about 3/4 cup) liquid in the bottom after the apples have set in the bowl long enough for you to roll out the pie crusts and have them ready to dump your apple deliciousness into.
So now you have the pie crust rolled out and in the pie plate and you have put the prepared apples into the pie crust. Now take half a stick of butter and slice it. Lay slices of the butter onto the exposed apples. Roll out the top crust and lay that on top. Seal the edges of the pie and vent the top, it would be oh so sad to have your pie explode in the oven, especially after all the work that you just put into it. Bake that pie at 375 for 50 minutes. Some people put foil around the edges to keep them from over browning. Oh! Wait! I forgot! Brush the top of the pie with milk and, I like, to sprinkle it with sugar after that. If you can find "Sugar in the Raw" use that because it has big sugar crystals. Now your pie will look beautiful.
If at first you don't succeed PIE PIE again!
-Megan Ross
Pies don't always turn out perfect the first time. I made this pie loads of time and now when I am baking at home, with my own oven, than I can get this pie to turn out perfect. I hope you make it and make the man in your life happy.
-P.J. O'Rourke
My favorite dessert to make is easily pie. I can and have made pies all day long and loved every exhausting minute. I love French silk pie and Lemon meringue, those two are my all time favorite. If I am going to eat two slices of pie on the same plate than it has to be French silk and Cherry. My French silk comes from my mom and it is about like eating the best chocolate butter you have ever had. I once dained to try a Lemon meringue pie from a store and was the saddest thing I ever did. That was the foulest stuff. I have sold my pies and will sell them again. If you ever need or want a pie by all means ask me for the recipe and if you are lucky enough to live near me I would be more than happy to make it for you. I would drop everything to make a pie or two.
When you die, if you get a choice between regular heaven and pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It may be a trick, but if it's not mmmmmmmmmmmm boy
-Jack Handy
Well the pie I will be writing about is not one that I have mentioned yet, but one that, I feel, should be masted by every wife who wishes to be seen as the quint essential 1950's house wife. I like to make this pie in pearls and heels (It just turns out better that way). If you haven't guessed yet it is the illusive perfect Apple Pie.
First the crust, this recipe I got from Miss Martha. Miss Martha Stewart that is. That women knows pie:
Promises and pie-crusts are made to be broken
-Jonathan Swift
1 1/4 cups flour
4 1/2 t. sugar
1/4 t. salt
1 stick cold butter
1 large egg yolk
2 T. ice water
Ok here is how I do this, I use a food processor but I will give you hints on how to do this with out one. Put all the dry ingredients into the food processor or a mixing bowl and pulse them to mix. Next I put the shredding attachment on my food processor and shred the butter into the flour. If you are doing this by hand just use a hand held cheese grader. Then I add the egg yolk (this makes the crust extra flaky, very important if you want the perfect crust). And finally I add the ice water. I use a liquid measuring cup and put in ice and water and put that in the freezer before I do anything else that way the water is super cold and I have worked up a sweat and will be ready to drink the remaining ice water. Lastly I pulse the mixture until it forms a ball. Turn it out onto a floured surface and kneed it a few time. It is very important not to over work the dough. Place the dough in a plastic bag and put it in the fridge until you are ready to roll it out. It will work up so much better if it has been chilled at least half an hour more is better.
Now the Apple part!
Why not upset the apple cart? If you don't the apples will rot anyway
-Frank A. Clark
6 cups thinly sliced and peeled apples
1 T. lemon juice (I often use more because it keeps the apples from browning and makes the apples nice and tart if you are using something other than a cooking apple)
3/4 cup sugar
2 monsterously heaping Tablespoons flour (depending on how much lemon juice you used.)
1/2 t. cinnamon (I use a little more)
1/8 t. nutmeg (I use a little more)
Now toss all these ingredients into a nice big bowl and mix them around until all the apples are coated nicely. There should be a little (about 3/4 cup) liquid in the bottom after the apples have set in the bowl long enough for you to roll out the pie crusts and have them ready to dump your apple deliciousness into.
So now you have the pie crust rolled out and in the pie plate and you have put the prepared apples into the pie crust. Now take half a stick of butter and slice it. Lay slices of the butter onto the exposed apples. Roll out the top crust and lay that on top. Seal the edges of the pie and vent the top, it would be oh so sad to have your pie explode in the oven, especially after all the work that you just put into it. Bake that pie at 375 for 50 minutes. Some people put foil around the edges to keep them from over browning. Oh! Wait! I forgot! Brush the top of the pie with milk and, I like, to sprinkle it with sugar after that. If you can find "Sugar in the Raw" use that because it has big sugar crystals. Now your pie will look beautiful.
If at first you don't succeed PIE PIE again!
-Megan Ross
Pies don't always turn out perfect the first time. I made this pie loads of time and now when I am baking at home, with my own oven, than I can get this pie to turn out perfect. I hope you make it and make the man in your life happy.
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